On the brink of a new chapter

When you're in the throws of parenting, you get so involved in all that is required and needed from you that you sometimes ask, "Will we ever get through ________ stage?" And then...it happens. You get through whatever stage you were in and you move onto the next one all for the cycle to repeat itself. There is an ugly truth to this cycle that no one quite ever tells you you're ready for. Way back in the corner of your mind you wonder, "Are they ready? Have I prepared them enough?" You hope, you pray and then send your child on their way.

You see, my oldest recently turned 18 in December. I love seeing his excitement as he experiences his last Homecoming, last fall play, last Theater Fest...you get the drift. I find myself crying at the drop of a hat when the oldest child on a Disney show leaves the family to embark on adulthood or some other random commercial makes me weepy. All to which my kids just shake their heads at me as if to say, "There she goes again."

This child, man-child, has captured my heart from the minute I knew of his existence through all of the woes and joys of parenting. The thought of my little boy leaving makes me ache inside. There are glimmers all the time that he is ready to be on his own. Today was one of those days.

Our family decided to attend a new church this morning. It was hard to do after being at the same church for 15 years. Our oldest said, "No, I'm not going with you guys to church today. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but I only have a few months left at home and I am connected to this church. I want to finish here before I leave." Stunned? Yes. Reassured...resoundingly yes! We have prayed for nothing more for our children to CHOOSE their faith and make it their own. Big A is honing in on what "feeds" him spiritually. It's okay, I have to let go and trust that as parents, we've done everything we can to guide him. At some point, our children have to take over and navigate these decisions without us.

There are three beautiful souls who still need my in house parenting and I still have ten years before our nest is completely empty, I know that in a few short months, having all four of my babes under the roof simultaneously is coming to an end for this chapter. I am going to savor each moment of togetherness. We are on the brink of a new chapter for our family. New beginnings are not bad, they are filled with steps of bravery. New chapter, new story... I will have faith to embrace this new chapter and move forward.